The Return of Talking Time

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-   -   Animals are Terrifying and Want You Dead (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?t=7569)

cortbassist89 03-24-2009 06:23 PM

Animals are Terrifying and Want You Dead
 
Why do I read such horrifying internet articles?

There's an amoeba that will suck on your delicious brain until you die.

Life is terrifying!

Sarcasmorator 03-24-2009 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cortbassist89 (Post 432610)
There's an amoeba that will suck on your delicious brain until you die.

Oh, that is soooooo the first season of X-Files. Kids these days.

nunix 03-24-2009 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cortbassist89 (Post 432610)
There's an amoeba that will suck on your delicious brain until you die.

Artist rendition:


ravinoff 03-24-2009 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cortbassist89 (Post 432610)

I was disappointed in that article, it didn't bring up either the box jellyfish (Chironex fleckeri) or the less fatal but perhaps even more terrifying Irukandji jellyfish (Carukia barnesi) which is capable of inflicting "one of the most painful experiences a human can endure".

Quote:

Originally Posted by wikipedia
One unusual symptom associated with Irukandji syndrome is a feeling of "impending doom". Patients have been reported as being so certain that they are going to die that they beg their doctors to kill them to get it over with.

Quote:

It's like when you're in labor, having a baby, and you've reached the peak of a contraction, that absolute peak, and you feel like you just cant do it anymore, that's the minimum that (irukandji) pain is at. And it just builds from there.

Wolfgang 03-24-2009 07:04 PM

Aw, c'mon, animals are great! They like hugs. Except for insects, which are all miniature facets of The Great Beast, Satan, and should be eradicated on sight. At least, that's what I do to 'em.

Don't cotton to bugs in my abode. No sir.

Quote:

Irukandji syndrome
I amend my first statement; most animals want hugs, every animal in Australia wants to dissolve you from the inside out, including the sheep. What the hell, Australia? I kind of don't get how humans can actually live there.

philliam 03-24-2009 07:11 PM

Natures fucking rules. Don't fuck with nature.

BEAT 03-24-2009 07:18 PM

I once hit a rabbit with a car. I didn't mean to.

Nature has yet to retaliate. It's probably planning something appropriately terrible.

philliam 03-24-2009 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beat (Post 432649)
I once hit a rabbit with a car. I didn't mean to.

Nature has yet to retaliate. It's probably planning something appropriately terrible.

A thousand rabbits will slam into your dick.

Dizzy 03-24-2009 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by philliam (Post 432653)
A thousand rabbits will slam into your dick.

I like where this is going.

My town is littered with road kill. Squirrels have so mentally lost it I can approach them and have full length conversations without them scurrying away.

Parish 03-24-2009 09:07 PM

I know the animals are laughing at us. I don't even know what the joke is. I won't follow animals' advice. I don't care if they're laughing at us.

PatientBeast 03-24-2009 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parish (Post 432700)
I know the animals are laughing at us. I don't even know what the joke is. I won't follow animals' advice. I don't care if they're laughing at us.

Are they setting a bad example?

Brickroad 03-24-2009 09:24 PM

Re: that list:

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.


(P.S.: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH.)

Stephen 03-24-2009 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawn (Post 432646)
Aw, c'mon, animals are great! They like hugs.

Yes, they like to hug you with their terrifying mouths of death.


SilentSnake 03-24-2009 09:26 PM

zodar horrifying walking stick post

Parish 03-24-2009 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgrammer (Post 432709)
Are they setting a bad example?

They're making a fool of us :(

PatientBeast 03-24-2009 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parish (Post 432720)
They're making a fool of us :(

They say they don't need money. :mad:

Badinage 03-24-2009 10:30 PM

I was shuddering just reading the article. Though I'm surprised the Guinea Worm wasn't included. But still. Eugh.

DemoWeasel 03-24-2009 10:35 PM


Tavir 03-24-2009 11:05 PM

Here's another article from about a year ago on Cracked that focuses exclusively on bugs. Makes you never want to go anywhere!

Badinage 03-24-2009 11:33 PM

Why thank you, Shinji. I do believe that has been burned into my mind.

DemoWeasel 03-24-2009 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wiggumbeard (Post 432791)
Why thank you, Shinji. I do believe that has been burned into my mind.

You're gonna have some fun nightmares, pal!

Pajaro Pete 03-24-2009 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tavir (Post 432780)
Here's another article from about a year ago on Cracked that focuses exclusively on bugs. Makes you never want to go anywhere!

Even the cute ones are deadly!

Torgo 03-25-2009 12:02 AM

I used to read about nasty, venomous creatures like this all the time as a kid. It was scary, but I ate the stuff up because it was so fascinating. This list was horrifying, sure, but no worse then I had read before. Heck, I already knew about the stonefish!

Then I got to the last one...
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brickroad (Post 432713)
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.


(P.S.: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH.)

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

DemoWeasel 03-25-2009 12:08 AM


Lucas 03-25-2009 12:41 AM

I wasn't really sure what most Talking Tyrants would find scary so this is just kind of the scattergun approach to it.

Scatterguns, incidentally, will help with at least of few of these things.










Actually tiny and adorable.








And a series of pictures depicting a graphic polar bear attack on a human.

Octopus Prime 03-25-2009 12:52 AM

Half those things look like Final Fantasy bosses.

Also, I won't read that list just now because I'm eating and would like to maintain the appetite for just a while longer.

If you'd like, you can pretend that I joined the chorus of "Aaaaaaaah!"s

Savathun 03-25-2009 12:54 AM

I've known about that brain eating amoeba for years now. I'm pretty sure it's helped contribute to my anxiety problem.

Chu 03-25-2009 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucas (Post 432803)

Man, cats' paws are a lot less cute when they don't have fur covering them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucas (Post 432803)

Hey, it's Lynx's Feral Cats Tech!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucas (Post 432803)

WE ARE LEGION

SuperRube 03-25-2009 01:45 AM

Wow, I was kind of unaware that Cracked went from a kind of lamer version of Mad and became a series of documentaries on "Animals that will eat you and possibly your family with little provocation"

Not saying this is a bad thing. Just musing.

UnChocolate 03-25-2009 02:00 AM

Honey badgers are pretty crazy. Apparently they've been known to attack snakes, get bitten, kill them, freeze through paralysis from the venom, then eat the snake after the stuff's worn off.


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